So, I just watched THIS sweet video, and tears went streaming down my face. Every now and then I realize things about myself and my daughter that bring me back to reality. Annabelle having Down Syndrome is not something that I think about often. It's really not something that overwhelms my mind. But,then sometimes, the reality comes to mind. Craig and I have a daughter with special needs. Our lives and our future will be "different". Different how? I don't know. But, when I do allow myself to think of it, I find my FUTURE self begging people to accept her. I see myself saying, "PLEASE be nice to her. PLEASE love her! PLEASE DON'T LIMIT HER!" Then, the tears do stream down my face. Sometimes, I can see the same thing in her eyes when she looks at me in a moment of frustration. "Mom, please be patient with me. Mom, please teach me." Sometimes I wonder if I do enough, and sometimes I feel guilty that maybe I don't. I want to see Annabelle excel SO BADLY, that I often feel like that responsibility is on my shoulders to allow that.
My desire is to let Annabelle be as talented as she can be, and to get MANY opportunities to express how unique she is. I want to see her change peoples lives just by being in the same room as them. (I have already seen this a couple times.) I just told my dad last week after we were talking about how many people at church were loving on her, "Dad, I think a MAIN purpose for Annabelle's life is to bring JOY to people and to bless people."
She's incredible and I dont want me or anyone else to hold her back. This girl is determined. She's spunky. She's motivated. The more I see her personality as she is growing up, I keep saying, "She's a SCHMIDT!" She's got so much of her daddy and her aunts and uncles in her. It's a great thing for her. She sees something that she wants or wants to do, and is motivated and determined to make it happen. Her O.T. encourages me so much about that quality in Annabelle. Some may see it as stubborn, but she sees it as opportunity. That makes me happy for Annabelle even though sometimes, it's a fight and a struggle.
Since she was super tiny, we noticed that she loved music of any kind. We see it more all the time. She loves to listen to it, make it, loves to "sing", and watch people sing or dance. She needs some drums, a piano, a guitar, a tambourine, and anything else that might make music. Someday our house may be loud enough to bring on a headache, but I want her to play! I know other babies and kids love these toys, too, but I see a joy in Annabelle when she is able to make the music with her OWN fingers! This video was when she was about 8 months I think.
And this one was this past weekend...
I could see her jammin in a garage someday with a want-to-be-band. I can see her there as a teenager, giddy with joy by the sound of music.
Also, check out my little walker. I'm tellin ya, she's determined, and will not let anyone get in her way.
I'm convicted after watching that video, and reading THIS post by Kelle Hampton, to become more involved. Somehow. And to encourage people to be more accepting, not only of differently abled children and adults, but of PEOPLE. My heart feels like it wants to burst sometimes with the love that I want to give to people. The love I want them to feel. To know that somebody cares for them, especially when they feel that maybe people don't.