Let them be little

Let them be little

9.27.2010

i watch football.

There have been a lot of thoughts running through my mind lately. I know there will be too many for me to write, but I will do my best....

I have been thinking a lot about relationships. Real Relationships. I have lately just been exhausted with things like texts and facebook and sometimes blogs even.(but blogs are usually deeper than a darn facebook status. ;) I am craving real voices, real laughs, facial expressions, real tears, a cup of good coffee or a cold beer. I have gotten really comfortable with not picking up the phone to call someone, and comfortable sitting in front of the computer to find out "what is on someone's mind". This is not to say I wont continue to do those things, but hopefully LESS. There are fears and insecurities I have with making or even continuing relationships. Not sure why, but I know that our generation has gotten to a point where these "digital relationships" are easy. But they are also fake, and often empty. Conversations had online or through text are often misinterpreted or, surface and empty. I want to pick up the phone. I want to build new friendships, and KNOW the friends that I do have. I dont want to miss out anymore. I am so tired of the surface. Lets talk. Lets meet up for coffee or martinis. CALL ME, too. ;) I mean, what did people do in the past before internet? I called a friend today and discussed this with her. She is mainly the one who got me to think about these things a couple months ago. she does not have facebook. she said she did, but then remembered the time in her life when she had no cell phone that would send texts, and only a primitive type of computer, unable to "connect" with people. She missed that because it forced face to face. (or ear to ear) I miss it too. yet, i guess here i am doing it. kind of.

same sort of subject, different perspective....I feel like we often miss out on a blessing. Relationships are so hard. NO matter what! There is NOT a perfect friendship/marriage/acquantance kind of relationship. I think we get scared of that imperfection and push people away. we get hurt, and put up a wall by deciding to "cut that person out of our life". I think that is kind of sad. I wish people would just communicate and at least TRY to work through hurts and issues. mild and deep issues. I wish i would do it. Its so hard. So we make it easier by avoiding. i dont know. just thoughts I have had lately. ( in these kind of cases, facebook is easier. just de-friend. yay internet. ;\

Thanks for letting me use some kind of online journal. ha. :)

SO...Annabelle is great. we had a follow up appointment today with a cardiologist. checking out the heart issue that Annabelle had when she was born. She is doing great. that is the report in a nutshell. :) we are thankful. I am so thankful to the Lord for protecting her little life and allowing her to grow and develop. I often sing this song to her...."He's got the whooole wooorrld in His hands. He's got the whooole woorld in His hands. He's got my sweet little Annabelle in His hands, He's got the whole world in His hands."


ps. im not saying the good ole FB is bad. i enjoy aspects of it..i.e.pictures and being in some kind of touch with certain people and things. well, i think get my point?

9.23.2010

Inspired...

This girl's creativity inspires me. (click on 'girl' of course.)

Now off to a day of making and creating...

Dear Santa,
I would like a sewing machine for Christmas this year.
And lots of other stuff.

9.20.2010

Proud...of myself.

I have been spending a lot of time making and creating. I have been searching online for different cutesy things, and then figuring out how to do it myself. I have made bows for hair, flowers for either hair, clothes or bags! Therefore, I am proud of myself. Please tell me if YOU or anyone you know would like to buy some. I am thinking about selling some. So, heres a few pics of the latest of the creations....





So, I know for some people this is way past the right time, but we finally allowed Annabelle to sleep in her crib for the night. I havent been in a rush to do it, cause i like her with us. But, she naps in her crib all the time, and does great. I knew she would do fine, it was me who was gonna loose some sleep. And i did. I woke up to every little noise and just had one of those nights where you just sleep really light. I couldnt wait to wake up and go grab her. But, i made it, therefore, am proud of myself.

I have another dentist appointment this afternoon. I am not as scared this time. Therefore, I am proud of myself.

Ok, this isnt supposed to be all about me. ;) Annabelle is doing great. I cant think of any new news since the last post. Im pretty sure she is the cutest thing i have ever seen. thats not new news. My mom, sister and I went to an estate sale of Saturday morning. It was a good one, so we were there a while. I didnt know we would be there so long, so my arm got super sore holding annabelle. she was so funny the whole time though. she was bouncy, and giggling and trying to play. there were so many people in this house. I think she thought it was a party, so she was social. it was cute! :)
I also enjoyed an awesome awesome morning at the park with her the other day. I didnt want to leave. I might be weird, but I love mornings. I love coffee, the dew on the grass, the fact that it is new and fresh, and you have the whole day to look forward to. I mean i like to sleep in every now and then, but i do cherish mornings. So, i packed her up and took her to the park, which is like right across the street. Its an amazing park. HUGE trees. ducks, a river, walking trails, swing sets, picnic tables, frisbee golf, you get the point. its big, and awesome and beautiful. I felt like i was in the movie Juno at one point, watching the High School cross country team sprint by us numerous times. The geese were little a-holes. excuse me, but they were. they are mean. the stick out their necks and squack and charge at people and the other duckies. boo. i did not like them. I thought annabelle would sleep. she did not. she soaked it all in just like I did. she loved it. she watched the ducks walk by, and enjoyed the quietness of nature. I read a little bit of my Bible, wrote in my journal, watched the old grey bearded man try to catch fish. At one point, a man was jogging by and a little girl with pigtails and her momma were walking the opposite direction, toward the jogging man. she tried to show him something as they crossed paths, and thought he would carry on a conversation with her. He giggled sweetly at her and kept jogging. Then she started to run off and said, "momma, look! I am running like a man!" it was cute. I think I will do that more often. refreshing. I would post pics, but they are on my phone, and i dont know how i would get them HERE.

i hear the punkin waking up from nap. gotta go....

9.15.2010

Hair, Dentist, Daddy and a NEW HOBBY!

I cant tell you enough what a fantastic daddy Craig is to our Annabelle. He is so precious with her. He loves her so much. I love it. I love watching it. We are two pretty lucky girls. With a great man that works his tail off for us, and still comes home with energy to love his girls. we are blessed...
naptime with daddy...


So, I have done a little research online. Hair Loss is normal I guess. Its just one more thing that no one told me about! ha. Our bodies change so much, inside and out, after pregnancy. No one really talks about after that much, mostly just during. so, I have been learning. I am still freaking out a little though. I do have pretty thick hair, but I dont want to loose it all! yipes! I am not liking this.

And, I made it through the dentist visit. I was seriously so nervous. I hate the dentist. I need it though. I like the guy, which is good. I have to go back for a few more appointments to catch up on these months, maybe years of neglect. We have great insurance so i am going to take advantage, and max it out pretty quickly. ;)

Here are a couple great pics...I gave Annabelle a pony tail the other day. it was so cute, but because she rolls around it did not stay long!


Since I stay home, and Annabelle is so small, i do get bored every now and then. so, i have been trying to find things to help me stay busy rather than just vacuuming the living room over and over. I record Little House on the Prairie and am hooked. I watch it when I nurse. Also, I decided to study Romans. So far I have only read the first 2 chapters. i think because of learning to study the Bible at Bible school, i cant decide to study a book and do it quickly. its something i have to take time on and reaally dig into it. so, that will take up some time for me. i was going to just read through the book for the month of september, but it will take longer than that! ha, but, I have also discovered a new hobby!!! I have been loving the giant bows and flowers in Annabelle's hair. I could go broke buying new bows in different styles, colors, and sizes. So, i decided to teach myself how to make them. Since i stay home, i needed a hobby. I made 6 bows in the first day! its so fun. Next, i will teach myself how to make felt flowers. for headbands and clothes. Im excited. I dont have to put them on headbands all the time anymore because her hair has gotten so long. i just clip them right in! so cute. heres a pic of the ones i have done so far...



so, something i have been thinking about lately is simply HOLDING Annabelle. Something so simple has had me concerned lately. I dont want to sound rude or over-protective at all, but it is something I am noticing lately. People who are close to her and around her all the time know what I am talking about, and know that holding her the right way is important for her development. With Down Syndrome comes a lower muscle tone, which I have talked about before. At this age and stage of development, it is something that "they" talk about. Annabelle has been developing SO WELL and has been so determined to do things age-appropriate. I mean holding her head up, tummy time, rolling over, learning to sit with support, etc.. But, when you simply hold her, you can tell that she is a little more smooshy, and sort of limp i guess. I dont know how to explain it because I havent been around a whole lot of little babies. I have been told, and been reading about how DS kids have more flexible joints, which has somehting to do with the low tone. i guess. i dont know. anyways, my point...i have been bothered by how i have seen people hold her. thinking she will be able to do things she cant,or whatever. she doesnt have the muscles to REACT in certain situations. she is pretty feisty and will usually tell me when somehting is hurting her or bothering her. but, sometimes she may not. I guess i am worrying about what could happen if someone, myself included, tried to push her beyond her limits right now. I know, so simple. PUSH her by just holding her?!?! ya, i cant explain it well. I guess it is just part of the learning process of just being a mom. learning when to say something to someone else without being rude, and learning how to challenge your child, but not too hard.

by the way, Annabelle is so sweet. I love her little personality that is coming out all the time. I am seeing that she really is sweet. she loves people. esp her mommy and daddy. I LOVE seeing her in the mornings or after a nap. she wakes up happy and as soon as she sees one of us she is bubbly and smiling, as if she hasnt seen us in a while. its so fun. it makes me also wake up happy in the mornings cause i am so excited to see her and have another day with her.

One last pic. I put Annabelle on the floor in her room when I was doing her laundry. I thought it was so funny, cause she rolled and rolled until she ended up under her crib! what a cutie....

9.14.2010

someone PLEASE tell me that losing some hair after pregnancy is normal!!!!! i am freaking out. i started noticing that i was losing more hair than normal about 2 weeks ago. is this from pregnancy? whats happening?!?!?!?

9.13.2010

anxiety

one of my biggest causes for anxiety is being faced this morning. the dentist. i avoid and avoid the dentist until its too late. too late meaning there is a lot of work to be done. yipes. i have been known to make and break appts, but this time, i shall go. i have bumble bees in my belly. im already thinking of ways to reward myself after. ill let u know how it goes.....

9.06.2010

Perspective

Im sitting here this morning with my sweet Annabelle on my lap, listening to baby lullabies on my computer and sweet little baby sounds coming from my oh so relaxed little one. I am soaking in ever minute. I am seriously overwhelmed right now with God's grace and love in my life. I am so blessed. Not a single moment of this life do i want to take for granted. I dont want to change anything or make anything better. Life. Its amazing.

A little bit emotional this morning as I read through some blogs of some amazing women and amazing lives. It has made me think about "perspective". My heart hurts for people who have lost. For people who cry. For those who dont or cant know what life as a mother is like. And, then I get angry and my blood starts to boil thinking of those who choose to take a life that was intended as a gift to them, and never even experience what others wish they could or wish they could have back. Its perspective. The world is rude. Its self-centered. It is distorted. We desire perfection, and when we dont get it, we throw fits. why? why not enjoy this amazing world around us. we have one life to live, one shot. I want to spend mine loving people. Loving people and enjoying every small, intimate moment that the Lord is giving me. Thank you, Jesus, for the life you are giving me.