Let them be little

Let them be little

8.23.2012

Silence

I am sitting in absolute silence right now, and it's awesome. All I hear is the dishwasher, which is actually pretty soothing.    It's been over 45 minutes of silence, and I am soaking it all in.  I actually wrote in my journal, and read some devotions, and wrote out a prayer list of people and things that are on my heart.  Annabelle is snoozin in her bed, and Carter is passed out on the couch.  He looks super cute.  As much as I love this silence, I am almost equally as thankful for the much noise that takes place most of the day.  :)  I love my kids.  And I love nap time.


I just read this awesome devotion, and had to share it...


And her neighbors and her relatives
heard that the Lord had displayed
His great mercy toward her;
and they were rejoicing with her.
Luke 1:58
And the angel said to her
“Do not be afraid, Mary;
for you have found favor with God.
Luke 1:30
“I’m going to have a son! And He is going to be great and will be called the Son of the Most High! That I should be chosen for this magnificent event! Me! Mary! Incredible!” Luke 1:32
So Mary had her Son. The miraculous was accomplished! If you are a mother you know what was in her heart from the very beginning because you’ve been there. You want to protect this tiny little being who has been such an intimate part of you, who has lived within you, encased in your body and completely dependent on you and your care for him for nine months. As that child grows, you want the very best in every way for him. Mary was a mother–just like you and just like me.
She lost Joseph somehow after Jesus was twelve years old. He disappears from their lives and from the pages that tell the story. This means that she didn’t have her husband by her side when Jesus told her that He was leaving home to begin His ministry. She needed someone to encourage her, to hold her, to face this heart-rending event with her, to assure her that it was going to be all right, to speak as a father to his son with words of wisdom.
She and her other children were terribly concerned about Jesus and the reputation He was making for Himself and the enemies–high-ranking religious officials who were seeking to destroy Him. Sit around the table with them as they spent hours trying to decide what they should do to help Jesus–to protect Him from those who hated Him. They pled with Jesus to come home so they could “take care of Him” thinking that He had lost His mind with the fervor and zeal of His fanatical teaching.
She heard all of the rumors–good and bad–about Jesus and there was someone who hurried to her house in the darkness the night Jesus was arrested–Oh, Mary! Mary! Jesus has been arrested! I’m sure she had friends that came to comfort her, but they had “come and gone” and she was alone at the foot of the cross that day when she witnessed the suffering of her “beloved Son.” She was there to see His mutilated body, the horror of His crucifixion, and to hear His agonized cries.
Surely the prophecy of Simeon came to pass: “and a sword will pierce even your own soul” (Luke 1:35).
This is favor?
Even though Zacharias had been struck dumb by the angel (Luke 1:5-20), I’m confident that he communicated with Elizabeth some way! We’re going to have a son! An angel appeared to me in the temple and told me! We’re to name him John and he will be great in the sight of the Lord! They had prayed for a child for many years and the Lord had heard their prayers. Now “the fullness of time” had come and a precious little boy came to bring laughter and love to their home.
But then one day their boy left home. He left the room they had fixed just for him; he left his place at the table; he left broken hearts and dreams behind him and lived in the desert, dressed in camel’s hides, eating locusts and wild honey. Elizabeth and Zacharias anxiously asked every traveler if they had seen their son, John.
They shook their heads in amazement when they heard about John baptizing his cousin, Jesus, and the miraculous events that surrounded that baptism. Their amazement turned to agonizing fear when the word came that John had been imprisoned. Then came the day when someone tearfully sought them out to tell them, “Your son, John, was beheaded last night.” Crushed. Grieving as they remembered those days when he was a happy little boy living at home.
This was a blessing?
* * *
I must confess that I was perplexed when these words penetrated deep into my heart. Oh, I had read them many times, but how could these things have been a “blessing” or come into your life because you were “favored?”
I know the answer of course–God is omniscient–we aren’t. He sees beyond this earth and its perplexities and knows what is to come–when it is to come–and how it is to come. But when you put flesh and blood on the rows of black print on onion-skin paper and put yourself in the company of those who were favored and blessed, it becomes painfully real to you that He spells “favored” and “blessed” differently than we do! Remember the song, “This world is not my home, I’m just a’passin’ through?” And while I’m “passing through,” God may decide to “favor” me with a very special mission–perhaps a difficult mission, a sorrowful mission, a mission of suffering. Who am I to question the results that He knows are to come as this mission He assigned to me is completed?
What I MUST remember as these perplexing thoughts come is that He is with me, strengthening me, encouraging me, loving me, and living in and through me to complete the mission He has given me. Oh! I must remember this! I do not always know His plan, but I do know His heart and I set my mind on the Lord as I have come to know Him. He was assigned an impossible mission–agree? I thank You, dear Lord, for Mary–for Zacharias and Elizabeth–for Jesus and all of the multitude that have gone before, showing me that a mission that seems to be impossible can be conquered–but only through You.

-Anabel Gillham with Lifetime Guarantee Ministries

8.20.2012

10 days old!

The first 10 days have been awesome.  I sorta can't believe it's only been 10 days.  I feel like Carter has been a part of our lives for a lot longer.  He has been a great baby, and we are totally smitten.  Annabelle has adjusted very well.  We do our best to give her extra attention.  I was worried about her feeling left out, but she doesn't seem like she notices.  She either doesn't really pay attention to Carter, or she is super duper sweet to him.  She has a very gentle and sweet spirit.

Did I already mention how we chose Carter's name?  Well, I will again if I already did.  We had a couple names picked out, and always asked Annabelle to say them.  She doesn't really have any clear words yet.  She tries to say things, and we sometimes understand, but most of the time, we don't.  When we asked her to say, "Carter", she said it almost immediately and it was very clear.  She would also say, "Car Car".  It was so cute, so we felt that was the name we would pick.  Shortly before he was born, she just stopped saying it when we would ask her to.  And she hasn't said his name since he has been born either.  :(  Bums me out, but I'm hoping she will say it again.  It was so cute when she did.

My younger sister and best friend had her baby boy, Justus James only 5 days after we had Carter.  Maybe that is why these past 10 days seem more like an eternity.  We have been so busy already.  It was an emotionally charged week for one family.  We are all so blessed and SO thankful to God for these little blessings.  Becoming a mom has been the greatest gift in my life, and the most emotional time of life.  With some major highs accompanied by some lows and some physical pain.  It's such an incredible experience, and it has been pretty amazing to experience a lot of this with Lisa.  We totally 'get' each other.  It is SO CRAZY that all of this happened together. 

Some FIRST PICS from the hospital, and a few from the last 10 days....


AND, some videos of cuteness around my house.  I did capture a video of Annabelle doing her best to say, "Carter" or "Car Car" while I was at the end of my pregnancy. 









 my cute kids...
 my mornings...
 Proud daddy with his jammied kids...
 Carter and Justus working on tummy time.
video
video


video
video video



8.14.2012

He's HERE!!!

I have wanted to update SO many times while all this is fresh on my mind, but surprise surprise, mommy has been busy.  ;) 

My sweet baby boy, Carter Evans, arrived on Friday, August 10!  Weighing in at 9lbs 3 oz and 21".  We have been super duper thankful the last 5 days, and we LOVE having this little man be a part of our family.  So, here's the fun details of the last few days...

At my 39 week appointment, we scheduled an induction with my doctor for the 10th.  I was so ok with scheduling that because I was SURE that baby would come within that week.  I trusted that my doctor knew what was good for us, so I trusted her confidence in an induction after due date.  During that week, I expected something to happen every single day.  When Aug 8 passed, I was getting more and more anxious and praying praying praying that labor would start.  The morning of the 9th rolled around, I was even more anxious, just praying I would go in to labor that day.  I thought my water had broken in the night, but wanted to wait it out to see what happened.  I just wasn't sure.  BUT, I did not want to just sit around all day and think about it.  I got a text from Lisa that morning asking what I wanted to do the last day of being a parent of one.  So, I planned to make the most of it.  My sisters and my mom met Annabelle and me for breakfast, and we planned to have a girly day.  Breakfast and a little shopping.  While at breakfast, I was led to believe that I was in fact leaking some fluid.  So, I called L&D, and they wanted me to come in to triage to find out for sure.  Alas, it was not my water.  Still not sure what was happening, but it wasn't what I thought.  bummer. 

(When I walked in to L&D, I saw the nurse that I had when I had Annabelle.  I LOVED her, and have thought about her many times and how she made my birth experience with Annabelle so calm and peaceful.  I told her how happy I was to see her, and was so excited she was there!  But, I got sent home, so wondered if I would see her the next day or not.)

As I was going to bed the night of the 9th, the day before scheduled baby day, I was in tears with Craig about what to do.  Should we skip it and keep waiting?  Should I go?  We prayed about it, and Craig felt very confident that it was the best thing to do.  So, the morning of the 10th came, and I woke up after a night of irregular, but good contractions.  That morning, they kept coming, and were becoming pretty uncomfortable. 

We arrived at the hospital at about 6:15 or so, and admitted right to our room.  I was prepped with an IV of just fluids, and then waited for my doctor to arrive.  I continued to feel uncomfortable and was actually happy about that.  Around 7:15 or so, my nurse walked in.  It was MY nurse!!!!  I was so excited I just wanted to hug her.  She said she saw that I was there when she came in for her shift and called "dibs" on me!  YAY!  I almost cried a little. She was there with me till 7 that evening, and again, made my day SO amazing.  One of the many gifts from God that day.  He cares about these small things, y'all.  Anyways, my doctor soon came in, said I had made some good progress on my own and then we started the process of helping this labor move along. 

My nurse came in at least every hour, and checked things out, and she was very happy with how things were looking.  A couple hours passed, and we got the oh so wonderful epidural.  ahhhhhhhh.  It was a peaceful time, and my family was around to hang out for the morning.  It was nice, and easy.  My dad took Annabelle back home to our house for a nap, and then I remember at about 11, I was at a 7, and they were still waiting for baby to come down a little more.  I assumed I had a couple hours left. A little before noon, my family had decided to go get lunch.  By 12:15, I was calling them to tell them that I was ready to push!  The whole process progressed very quickly!  I know this is a lot of information, but at one point, the nurse had told me to stop pushing, and she held my knees together.  Ha.  It was only for a minute while we were waiting for my doctor to make it in!  It was kind of funny.  He was coming fast.  Once she got there, he was out within minutes.  Total push time was probably about 20 min.  I think.  He arrived at 12:40, placed immediately on my chest, then taken to get cleaned.  I wanted to hear that first cry, and as soon as I did, I was so excited!!   I asked if he was ok, if he was breathing ok, if he looked good, and wondered when I could have him.  They knew I wanted him as soon as they would allow it.  I waited only a little bit, and within 30 minutes, I was feeding him.  My sisters and my mom came in during that time, too.  I felt so much peace and overwhelming joy!  I kept staring at him and snuggling him.  I finally had my little man in my arms!  YAY! 
The rest of the afternoon was like that too.  Just easy, and fun, and NEW!  Annabelle came back with my dad, and I could not even wait to introduce them.  She was cute with him.  She was also very much a busy 2 year old, who after being in a small, unknown space was getting a little impatient.  But, she did great for the most part!  Everyone took off from the hospital around dinner time, then Craig and I got some time there just to ourselves with him.  We tried to sleep that night as much as we could, and it was just awesome to be in there with my boys. 



 

Saturday morning came very quickly, and I was "ready" to go home.  Well, my body may not have been quite ready, but we were ready to be in our home, with our 2 sweet kiddos.  We were discharged that evening at about 5.  We came home to a nice lasagne and my very helpful family, who took great care of our daughter and our home while we were gone.  It felt SO amazing to come home and have 2 kids.  Once dinner was over, and everyone left, I felt like Craig and I were on cloud 9.  We were ready for some peaceful rest.  Which was a little restLESS for mamma.  ;) 
The last few days have been pretty awesome for the most part.  I have had a couple small moments of feeling overwhelmed, but those moments will come and go.  I am up a lot at night with Carter, but really think he is doing so well.  I have tried not to compare this whole experience with our experience with Annabelle, but I think it is just natural to do that.  It is all I know when it comes to a newborn, birth, and the change of a child coming in to my life.  I see both of these experiences and gifts wrapped in giant boxes with a tag saying,

To: Craig and Katie
From: God

I would never ever ever change the experience we had with Annabelle!  I am so equally thankful for each experience.  This one seems like it has just been perfect.  Perfect labor.  Perfect delivery.  Perfectly healthy baby.  I take NONE of this for granted.  NONE of it.  The fact that I was able to snuggle and feed him after 30 minutes of life.  The fact that he stayed in our room overnight with us.  The fact that diaper changes and feedings were all up to US.  The fact that we came home after only a little over 24 hours after delivery.  I am at that point again, where I am so thankful that I don't even have the right words to express that thanks.  Words do not do enough.  I went to Paris.  And I will say it is just as beautiful and enjoyable as Holland.  I would go to both places any time!  

Waking up at night is exhausting.  But, I am just thankful that I CAN wake up with Carter at night.  I want to soak it all up.  I really do.  This newborn stage does not last long at all.  These kiddos grow up so fast, and I want to love something about every stage.  This little boy stole our hearts in a way we did not expect.  I wondered if I could love something as much as I love our sweet Annabelle.  Then, God puts a love in your heart that you can't even imagine and never knew existed.  How can our hearts grow any more? 

8.07.2012

ALMOST due date!

We are not even believing that tomorrow is baby boy's due date.  It's crazy as each day passes and I have not yet met this little guy.  If he is born tonight after midnight or sometime tomorrow, we will be SUPER excited that he shares the same birthday as one of our most favorite people, Craig's little brother Chad.  All this waiting will be worth it once we meet this baby, I know that.  But, it would be whip cream on a milkshake for him to be born August 8!!

As far as any labor progress, I have a little.  I get the worst, most intense contractions in the middle of the night while I am trying to sleep.  They fade away eventually, and I fall back to sleep.  When I woke up today, I was excited about the pain I felt in the middle of the night, and was super hopeful that it meant something was happening TODAY!  I have also had some signs of labor that started on Sunday, but it's maybe a little gross to share.  So, I know that things are happening and labor is moving.  It's funny how much I want to feel those horrendous contractions right now, and I want them to be consistent and not stop until baby is here!  Since I am certainly hoping for TONIGHT or TOMORROW, I will fill out that silly thing one more time....


How far along? 39 weeks, 6 days!  TOMORROW IS MY DUE DATE!
Total weight gain: I am no longer sharing.  I am a little ashamed at how much I have gained in only a couple weeks. 
Maternity clothes? I hate clothes.
Stretch marks? I don't THINK so.  But, I will be able to tell more when I can actually SEE all of my stomach and body.
Sleep: . I wake up a lot, but still feel refreshed in the morning.
Best moment this week:The best moment this week is yet to come.  I know that.  ;)
Miss Anything? I'm almost done, I don't have time to miss anything.
Movement:  Yep.
Food cravings: not really cravings.  I have justified terrible choices.  Like Mcdonalds french fries with an ice cream cone and a donut for lunch.  Ya, i totally just admitted that was my lunch today.  Sick.
Anything making you queasy or sick:  I am so uncomfortable it is unreal.  I do think my ribs are bruised or maybe cracked.  ;)
Gender:  boy
Labor Signs:
yes. :)  yucky things, and some contractions.  I was dilated to a 3 on Friday.  That's something i guess.
Symptoms: .Heartburn is a bitch, y'all.  It's so miserable.  This baby must have hair
Belly Button in or out? out
Wedding rings on or off? on.
Happy or Moody most of the time: most of the time, happy.  




we're ready.....

 Looking forward to: Having this baby before the weekend!  :)

8.01.2012

39 WEEKS! WHAAAAAAAT????

So, we have made it to 39 weeks, and I am entering in to what is "supposed" to be the last week of pregnancy.   Seriously?  Y'ALL, I was SO CERTAIN this baby boy would arrive the last week of July.  So much for the momma's intuition the doctor told me to pay attention to.  God has better plans for this baby, and I guess for me.  At this point, seeing every day the last week of July just come and go, I am getting pretty impatient.  I am super anxious and worried about little things.  BUT, I am SO thankful that God knows exactly what He is doing right now.  ALL I have prayed for is a healthy baby.  A baby ready to greet this world. 

"For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You, for (my son) is fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are Your works."  -Psalm 139:13&14


 This pic was taken yesterday.  I had to get a bare belly pic for myself to remember what I looked like.  This picture doesn't do justice to how big I actually feel and the size I actually see in the mirror.  I can only compare this pregnancy to last because it's all I know, and my body NEVER felt this way, and my belly never got this big.  I can almost TASTE the finish line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



After the last 2 ultrasounds we had, this baby was measuring almost 2 weeks ahead, and if we went by those estimations, I have gone past this baby's "due date".  I have thought for sure this baby is plenty ready to come out.  And, everyone knows that I am more than ready.  But, God clearly has some more "knitting" to do, and I will gladly allow Him to do so.  Even if I don't look or act really glad about it.

 I am uncomfortable and sore.  My ribs are taking a good beating, and my back has never felt so tight.  This baby is SO LOW that I pee what seems like every 15 minutes.  And, also because of how low he is, my pants wont stay put in the front.  Slowly, they inch their way down, and I am constantly making sure nothing is hangin out for the world to see.  Part of me wants to stay at home, and just watch the Olympics all day long, and wait till contractions start.  But, that makes me a little stir crazy.  It's too hot to just play outside, and there is NO chance I am making an appearance at a pool.  So, my pregnant sister and I take ourselves shopping.  Saying we are not going to buy things, we just need to get out and walk somewhere with A/C.  So, that is my life for these last DAYS of pregnancy.  I eat a lot of ice cream, and little of foods that are "good" for me.  I am ok with that. 

Annabelle is SO active these days, and I feel bad for her sometimes because I just don't feel like I can keep up.  I am so excited that she will soon have someone to play with.  She is helping me get through frustrations while at the same time making some frustrations more exhausting.  But, I love it.  She is the sweetest, most awesome little girl I have ever known, and couldn't have ever even made her up in my mind.  She blows me away with her total awesomeness every day.  I can't even handle my overwhelming love for her.  She is our little buddy!  As ready as I am to get in that hospital and have my baby, my eyes well up with tears when I think about how I am going to miss her while I am there.  And how once he is born, she will no longer be the baby.  I hear that this is something that a lot of mommas go through when they have their second.  But, we will adjust to big changes, and I know my love for her will not change.  She's my girl.