Let them be little

Let them be little

2.29.2012

17 Weeks

How far along? 17 weeks
Total weight gain: about 6 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Some. Wore my ugly maternity jeans the other day.
Stretch marks? no
Sleep: sleeping fine.
Best moment this week: Time with Craig.
Miss Anything? Beergaritas
Movement: I think so, yes.
Food cravings: Not really, no. LOVE Starbucks iced black tea with Vanilla instead of classic. But, I love that in the spring/summer all the time, not just while I'm pregnant.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Yes, but it has nothing to do with food, but with life. Sounds dramatic, but it's true.
Gender: We find out on the 6th of March. Less than a week!
Labor Signs: Is it too early for Braxton Hicks? Cause I'm positive I am getting them.
Symptoms: Mostly just uncomfortable every now and then.
Belly Button in or out? in
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Meh.
Looking forward to: Nothing. I shouldn't even be blogging right now. I'm not in the greatest mood.

This past weekend, Craig came home from a long trip. He took Annabelle and me to my most favorite town for a night. Felt like a little vacation, even though it's only about 2 hours away. I didn't take many pictures, but the ones I did take kinda make me laugh. I have a pretty crappy camera for one, and for two, all the pics were basically taken in our little motel room.
I tried getting a family picture in the morning, when we were all snuggled in bed. So, I aimed at the mirror, and the quality is not super great. But, it kinda cracks me up...



Another attempt at a family pic. Poor Craig. Ha.

Cartoons and a motel danish...


Check out my sweet little girl.
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2.25.2012

YES!!!

My sweet husband comes home today and then we are taking a little overnight family trip to my favorite town! So far, BEST birthday weekend ever! I can't wait to see him and spend time with him and our sweet little Annabelle.

OH! And, happy birthday tomorrow to Johnny Cash, too. ;)

2.21.2012

MY Girl.

So, I just watched THIS sweet video, and tears went streaming down my face. Every now and then I realize things about myself and my daughter that bring me back to reality. Annabelle having Down Syndrome is not something that I think about often. It's really not something that overwhelms my mind. But,then sometimes, the reality comes to mind. Craig and I have a daughter with special needs. Our lives and our future will be "different". Different how? I don't know. But, when I do allow myself to think of it, I find my FUTURE self begging people to accept her. I see myself saying, "PLEASE be nice to her. PLEASE love her! PLEASE DON'T LIMIT HER!" Then, the tears do stream down my face. Sometimes, I can see the same thing in her eyes when she looks at me in a moment of frustration. "Mom, please be patient with me. Mom, please teach me." Sometimes I wonder if I do enough, and sometimes I feel guilty that maybe I don't. I want to see Annabelle excel SO BADLY, that I often feel like that responsibility is on my shoulders to allow that.

My desire is to let Annabelle be as talented as she can be, and to get MANY opportunities to express how unique she is. I want to see her change peoples lives just by being in the same room as them. (I have already seen this a couple times.) I just told my dad last week after we were talking about how many people at church were loving on her, "Dad, I think a MAIN purpose for Annabelle's life is to bring JOY to people and to bless people."

She's incredible and I dont want me or anyone else to hold her back. This girl is determined. She's spunky. She's motivated. The more I see her personality as she is growing up, I keep saying, "She's a SCHMIDT!" She's got so much of her daddy and her aunts and uncles in her. It's a great thing for her. She sees something that she wants or wants to do, and is motivated and determined to make it happen. Her O.T. encourages me so much about that quality in Annabelle. Some may see it as stubborn, but she sees it as opportunity. That makes me happy for Annabelle even though sometimes, it's a fight and a struggle.

Since she was super tiny, we noticed that she loved music of any kind. We see it more all the time. She loves to listen to it, make it, loves to "sing", and watch people sing or dance. She needs some drums, a piano, a guitar, a tambourine, and anything else that might make music. Someday our house may be loud enough to bring on a headache, but I want her to play! I know other babies and kids love these toys, too, but I see a joy in Annabelle when she is able to make the music with her OWN fingers! This video was when she was about 8 months I think.
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And this one was this past weekend...
video
I could see her jammin in a garage someday with a want-to-be-band. I can see her there as a teenager, giddy with joy by the sound of music.

Also, check out my little walker. I'm tellin ya, she's determined, and will not let anyone get in her way.
video

I'm convicted after watching that video, and reading THIS post by Kelle Hampton, to become more involved. Somehow. And to encourage people to be more accepting, not only of differently abled children and adults, but of PEOPLE. My heart feels like it wants to burst sometimes with the love that I want to give to people. The love I want them to feel. To know that somebody cares for them, especially when they feel that maybe people don't.

2.16.2012

15 weeks.

How far along? 15 weeks 1 day
Total weight gain: 5-6lbs.
Maternity clothes? Some. Had to bust out the WONDERFUL belly band the other day to keep my unbuttoned pants up.
Stretch marks? no
Sleep: sleeping fine.
Best moment this week: Spending Valentine's Day (morning) on a little date with Annabelle. She got a strawberry mini cupcake, while I enjoyed a chocolate covered strawberry. I took her grocery shopping after she devoured the cupcake and she was bouncing in the basket and very happy. (or hyper). We spent dinner with my parents who took me on their date with them, and I enjoyed an amazing steak!
Miss Anything? BEER and my husband.
Movement: Pretty positive I feel him/her randomly. And always in the same spot.
Food cravings: No. Appetite seems to be back to normal. Which is GOOD.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really. Still don't want a hamburger.
Gender: Can't even wait to find out. I certainly have my prediction.
Labor Signs: no
Symptoms: Just get sore and uncomfortable sometimes. Mostly in the evening when my belly seems the biggest.
Belly Button in or out? in
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Wouldn't say moody. I'll use the word hormonal.
Looking forward to: Next weekend when I hope to be seeing my man.

2.06.2012

Butterflies and Ducklings.

I sat here and debated sharing this blog post.

When I write, my thoughts come out more clear and reassuring. I have journaled since about 5th grade. Writing down thoughts and prayers. In the garage, there is a box taped up, that reads, "Katie's journals. Please do not open." Do not open, because they are MY thoughts, my personal reflections of life over many years. One day, I will open the box and read through them, but for now it stays closed, and I have journals to add to the box.

When I woke up this morning, I had a headache, did not feel rested, and knew I had to be "ON" for my sweet little girl. But, I was feeling "OFF". Sometimes I miss the mornings where I would wake up, and have about an hour to myself. To shower, get ready, have coffee, THEN head to work. Those sorts of mornings do NOT happen anymore. I have considered getting up an hour before Annabelle so that I can do things like that. But, when that alarm goes off, getting up is the LAST thing I want to do. SO, I take all the time I can to sleep until I hear her as my alarm clock. I am still considering rising before the sun and before that sweet girl.

Anyways, I knew this morning that I NEEDED some time to be quiet. To read and journal. While I was writing a small prayer before opening my devotion book, I realized that I NEED Jesus in my morning, in my day, JUST AS MUCH TODAY AS DAYS THAT I FEEL AWESOME. I need Him just as much in my clear time of distress as I do on the days that are sunny, and easy breezy. I felt bad that I was telling Jesus how much I needed His strength today, and then if tomorrow I wake up, and feel supremely happy, I may not ask for that strength. Does that make sense? I want to depend on Him EVERY day. I want to seek Him daily. I desire for Him to be living through me every day, and not just today when I don't feel like being a mom, but only feel like being in bed.

When I was about 8 or 9, my family and I were in a boathouse and saw a nest full of duck eggs that were in the process of hatching. My sisters and I pretty much thought it was the coolest thing we had ever seen. And how adorable to see such tiny little ducklings. One of them was having a hard time breaking out of its shell. We were trying to be patient while watching it struggle. After a little while of watching him struggle to get out, we started to help him by breaking parts of the shell for him. We peeled pieces off of him to help him become free! Little did we know, this is not actually helpful for a duckling. It is a hindrance in their development. I do not know a lot about ducks, or about any animal that hatches from and egg, but I did learn that the least amount of help you give them, the better it is for the animal. They NEED to go through a hatching process naturally, no matter how hard it may look for the tiny, weak animal. The same thing goes for a butterfly. They NEED to hatch out of their cocoons on their own to actually have the wings to fly and the body they need to be a butterfly. If they are helped, they can come out crippled, their wings my not work right, and they may die. I read this from a website,
"Please don't get over anxious at this stage. What you see of them will look ugly and sad. They need to work at the shell too. It's like a natural birth of a human baby, coming through the birth canal pushes the fluid out of the lungs to allow them to take their first breath. So, I believe it is for the duckling, if it doesn't struggle to push through it could have lung problems and then it may not live long."

So, the story ends here. The little duckling we were helping, died. We helped it and messed with it too much. We all learned a little lesson that day. The rest of my family may not remember this event at all. It was a long long time ago. But, it is something I never forgot, and as a young girl, God was speaking to me, and teaching me a huge thing about life. In order for me to be the person God desires me to be, I HAVE to go through things that are hard. I want someone, something, to peel away at the shell and help me get through the hard times, and maybe avoid the hard situation. But, that is not God's plan. During those times, character is built. People are shaped, and changed. It's part of God's design plan. I don't particularly like that.

This morning, while I was spending some of that quiet time "alone", I read this:

"Dear Jesus,

Thank You for the hard and sometimes uphill road I have had to walk in following you. I am stronger because of it. And we are closer because of it. For all the good things that have come to me along the way, I thank you.

But, I have to say, I wish it were and easier way,

a shorter way,

a more scenic way.

I wish the road didn't have to go past the garden of Gethsemane, with its darkness and loneliness and tears.

I wish it just went in endless circles around the seashores of Galilee, and that walking with you were more of a serene stroll in the sunset.

Help me to understand that Gethsemane is as necessary as Galilee in the geography of a growing soul.

Help me to remember that even though you were a son, yet you learned obedience through the things you suffered.

Paul talks about entering into the fellowship of your suffering. I do so very much look forward to having fellowship with you, but honestly, Lord, the thought of having to suffer to experience it stops me in my tracks.

Help me, Lord Jesus, to want your company more than I want serenity, and to love the fellowship with you more than I fear the suffering necessary to enter into it."

-Ken Gire

This was exactly what I needed for today. God always knows what I need.

2.02.2012

First BUMP Pics

The baby bump this time around is surely a lot bigger than when I was pregnant with Annabelle. Sometimes I feel like I look 20 weeks. If you followed my blog at all the first time around, I tried updating that growing belly often. The first pics I posted were at 14 weeks. You can see them HERE.

So, here are the pics taken yesterday...
I look tired, and unmake-uped, but that's exactly how I felt yesterday. And I really wanted Annabelle to join in on the fun. ;) She wasnt interested.



I put on a shirt that I wore last time I was pregnant and probably haven't worn since. But, it's so comfortable! ALL I want to wear is long shirts and sweat pants or skirts! I did not have to buy a whole lot of maternity clothes last time, and I really think I only bought like 5 shirts that were actually considered maternity. I don't like to buy clothes that will only last a couple months, so I did my best not to. I still don't like the idea of spending money on maternity clothes, but might have to. I am a cheap shopper anyways. And, I really want some cute maternity tops that might actually still be cute after baby. I shopped yesterday and got 3 cute new tops! Fun fun!

So,I am 13 weeks! My What To Expect App says I am second trimester, but another site says its still only first. Not sure whech is true or if it really matters much. But, I am thankfully feeling great. Just tired. Real tired.

Annabelle has been so so super cute trying to walk around. Do I say that in every post? She is the cutest thing I have ever seen. She wants to be busy busy busy, and keeps me on my toes. Today, I was SMART, and took a nap when she did. But, I didn't feel any more rested like I hoped. BUT, I should do that more so that I can keep up with both her, and her growing little sibling. :) My kids.