Let them be little

Let them be little

7.28.2016

Here we are...

Seems like every post on this dusty blog includes a sentence that sounds like this... "well it's been a while!" OR "Does anyone even read this?!" Well, here I am again, asking the same question and saying the same thing.  I just don't have time. OR just don't make the time to actually do this.  But, I have the urge.

I have been sitting here staring at this blank "new post" page wondering where to even start.  So, it's summer.  Yadi Yada. This summer started out strong for the four of us.  The four of us meaning, Me, Annabelle, Carter and Skylar.  I LOVED having Annabelle and Carter home all the time and really loved not having a busy morning schedule. The first week, I wrote up a 'plan' on how to spend our days.  Each week with a theme and we would do things that week around that specific theme.  We actually did awesome the first few weeks.  We were creative, busy and had a lot of fun with it.  Then, I slacked a little around the busyness of the Fourth.  Then, last week, all four of us were involved in VBS.  So we haven't really kept up with our creativity or really done much at all. SO, confession... I am TIRED and have lost all motivation.  The TV has been used as a babysitter for hours a week. Some moments I am sick of hearing my name.  Some moments, I can't immagine how they could still be hungry or still need a drink.  And why do they have to go potty?!?!?  Like I said, I am tired.  I feel like there's not a minute a day that I get to myself.  It is CONSTANT.  NO lunch breaks.  NO coffee breaks.  And, often, no potty breaks.  For real.  It's constant.  By the end of the day, I am so spent.

As REAL as I know this is for mommas, it still makes me feel guilty to 'complain' about it or be honest about it.  No, I am not ungrateful.  No, I don't hate my job.  No, I am not resentful. But, summer 2016, you're wearin' me OUT!

I have had some deep, wonderful moments with Jesus this week begging for His strength to help me get through the days.  NOT just to get through the days, but to thrive through the days.  Love and nurture these kiddos.  Bring back my JOY in mothering.  Help me to be creative and challenge my mind and theirs.  Every morning His mercies are NEW and I literally FEEL His newness in the mornings.

I "plan" to get back to this whole 'theme' thing next week. It really is such a great idea because it gets my mind rolling with fun ideas.  It's a good place to start.  For example, one week our theme was CAMPING.  We made 'smore' pictures, campfires with tissue paper, went to REI, and made animal sponge paint prints.  Another week was SPORTS.  We qtip painted basketball pictures, rolled balls covered in paint down the slide and learned a little bit about diffrent sports.  (I should do this again for the first week of Olympics).  Next week I plan to do DINOSAURS.  We have toy dinosars we will learn the names of.  We have a couple dinosaur books to read.  There's a park we can go to where there are dinosaur bones and a huge sandbox where we can also dig for some bones.  As far as art, im not sure.  Maybe dip the dinosaur feet in paint and do prints?  I dunno.  I am rambling, but these theme weeks seriously excite the kiddos. When I have plans and direct a small portion of their day, they behave better.  And I kind of behave better too.

Craig can totally tell when I have had a day.  He is SO wonderful to love these kiddos when I feel like I can't.  He is wonderful to love me on days when I just don't deserve it.  He has been amazing to me.  He knows I have had a tough couple weeks and just pours out affection, mercy and grace ALL the time.  Yall, he's the best.  Some days, I don't feel like I deserve him.  I pray that Jesus loves that man through me in ways that I just can't.  I hope he knows how much I appreciate him.

As overwhelmed with summer as I have gotten, I KNOW without a doubt that I will cry the day that Annabelle goes back to school.  I will miss seeing her ALL day. As I scrolled through some of this blog earlier, I came across a post from exactly a year ago, and I remember feeling the same sorts of feelings as I do now.  As soon as August comes, it will fly by and our life and schedules will change a whole lot.  waaaaaaaaaaa.....

Welp.  Here's to tha rest of the summa.
And to hopes to more posts in the future.
Maybe.