BABY Number Three!

A few things I wanted to avoid in my third pregnancy:
     -Being 'big' pregnant through another Texas summer.
     -Being in the same house
     -Being pregnant with my sister again. (ONLY to allow her to have her own pregnancy and enjoy HER time. I loved being pregnant with her last time, which was unplanned, but very awesome that it happened.)
     -Not being mentally or physically ready to take on another pregnancy or another baby.

God had other plans.  Much to our surprise, God has blessed us with our third pregnancy.  At our first January MOPS meeting this year, I was sitting with a group of girls discussing the year ahead.  I said these words, " My goal is to not have another baby this year.  Not in 2014."  A couple short weeks later, I peed on a stick and got a clear as day PLUS sign.  I had been waiting and waiting for my period to appear any day, and it just wasn't coming.  It was a Sunday afternoon after church, and Craig and I were eating Little Cesar's pizza at the kitchen table.  We jokingly started talking about how I was missing my period, but that there was no way I could be pregnant.  I started to actually really really stress out about it.  Almost to tears.  So, Craig said he would run and grab a test just to ease my mind about it.  As soon as he got back, I went in the bathroom to take the test.  After I saw the plus sign, I just sat down and had to breathe a minute.  I was sort of in shock.  I expected it to be negative, and to get on with my day.  I came in the living room, and started crying and showed Craig the stick.  He held me while I was the one to have a little panic attack.  He was totally calm and kept telling me it would be ok, all with a big smile on his face.  He was also shocked, but held it together so much better than I was.  I took a deep breath, went for a nice run/walk by myself, and came back feeling much better.

The next morning, I called my dad right away.  I needed to talk to him and have him come pray with me while I spilled my heart, and my raw feelings about the whole thing.  My dad is always encouraging and can always give me direction towards the Lord.  He was overjoyed when I told him the news, of course.  And he was even more excited that He was, for once, the first one in our family to know something.  :)  I told him how I felt so bad about my reaction to the news.  When I found out I was pregnant with Annabelle and Carter, I was SO EXCITED.   This time, because it was a surprise, I didn't have those same feelings.  I felt guilty about that.  I kept saying, "I'm not ready for this.  Our family is not ready for this."  BUT, God is ready for this and knows exactly what our family needs.  I have bonded with this little one already because of that.  I know that this child is what we need, and that we need him or her right at this time.  That makes me so thankful and has totally changed the way I feel about the whole thing.  It only took a couple of days for me to get over that shock, and then really cherish what was happening.

There were a few things I had planned for 2014.  Things that I really wanted to do and accomplish.  Some of them personal things.  The news of another pregnancy totally changed that, and some of those goals will be pushed back a while.  That's ok.  I'm having another child! So, all of that is ok.

After Annabelle was born, I KNEW we would have more kids.  I always thought three. (total)  ALWAYS.  As soon as Carter was born, I still felt that someone was missing.  It is strange that I felt this way, but I did for a long time after he was born.  I knew we weren't finished.  Our family wasn't totally complete yet.  It was a feeling I could never shake.  Even on the most stressful and overwhelming days with two kids, I knew that another one would some day be in this mix of chaos.  So, although this baby is a surprise RIGHT NOW, it's not a surprise that we are adding to our sweet little family.

I desire to really enjoy this pregnancy.  Really soak it all up and not hope to speed through it.  I don't necessarily LOVE being pregnant, so it makes me a very anxious person for 9 months.  But, I hope to really enjoy the little things that pregnancy can bring.  Ya know, like nicer boobs and strong nails!!  Ha ha, just kidding.  Kind of.  But, really.  If you pray for us, THAT is what I ask you to pray for.  For joy, peace and contentment through all of this.  Seems like it has actually been a bit stressful in different ways, and I don't want that.  I have been SO tired lately.  Tired sometimes to the point of tears.  I am looking forward to the second trimester, when things like that seem to diminish at least a little bit.

OH, and I am also kind of thankful that I will be pregnant through another summer.  The reason is because I can wear skirts and tank tops and be totally comfortable.  I HATE wearing pants when I am pregnant, so God knew what He was doing there.  Also, my sister and I being pregnant together is a blessing.  She, of course, was not upset to hear it was happening again.  Also, this house isn't so bad.  I hoped for a bigger house when our family grew some more, but this will work.  It has worked so far, and will continue to. We are cozy here, but cozy is nice.  And, since I totally don't feel mentally or physically ready for all of this, I am forced to totally rely on the Lord for strength and to actually accept the help from other people when they offer.

Will update as often as I can about how pregnancy is going.  It's all been such a whirlwind that I haven't even been to my first doctor's appointment.  Yipes.