i watch football.

There have been a lot of thoughts running through my mind lately. I know there will be too many for me to write, but I will do my best....

I have been thinking a lot about relationships. Real Relationships. I have lately just been exhausted with things like texts and facebook and sometimes blogs even.(but blogs are usually deeper than a darn facebook status. ;) I am craving real voices, real laughs, facial expressions, real tears, a cup of good coffee or a cold beer. I have gotten really comfortable with not picking up the phone to call someone, and comfortable sitting in front of the computer to find out "what is on someone's mind". This is not to say I wont continue to do those things, but hopefully LESS. There are fears and insecurities I have with making or even continuing relationships. Not sure why, but I know that our generation has gotten to a point where these "digital relationships" are easy. But they are also fake, and often empty. Conversations had online or through text are often misinterpreted or, surface and empty. I want to pick up the phone. I want to build new friendships, and KNOW the friends that I do have. I dont want to miss out anymore. I am so tired of the surface. Lets talk. Lets meet up for coffee or martinis. CALL ME, too. ;) I mean, what did people do in the past before internet? I called a friend today and discussed this with her. She is mainly the one who got me to think about these things a couple months ago. she does not have facebook. she said she did, but then remembered the time in her life when she had no cell phone that would send texts, and only a primitive type of computer, unable to "connect" with people. She missed that because it forced face to face. (or ear to ear) I miss it too. yet, i guess here i am doing it. kind of.

same sort of subject, different perspective....I feel like we often miss out on a blessing. Relationships are so hard. NO matter what! There is NOT a perfect friendship/marriage/acquantance kind of relationship. I think we get scared of that imperfection and push people away. we get hurt, and put up a wall by deciding to "cut that person out of our life". I think that is kind of sad. I wish people would just communicate and at least TRY to work through hurts and issues. mild and deep issues. I wish i would do it. Its so hard. So we make it easier by avoiding. i dont know. just thoughts I have had lately. ( in these kind of cases, facebook is easier. just de-friend. yay internet. ;\

Thanks for letting me use some kind of online journal. ha. :)

SO...Annabelle is great. we had a follow up appointment today with a cardiologist. checking out the heart issue that Annabelle had when she was born. She is doing great. that is the report in a nutshell. :) we are thankful. I am so thankful to the Lord for protecting her little life and allowing her to grow and develop. I often sing this song to her...."He's got the whooole wooorrld in His hands. He's got the whooole woorld in His hands. He's got my sweet little Annabelle in His hands, He's got the whole world in His hands."


ps. im not saying the good ole FB is bad. i enjoy aspects of it..i.e.pictures and being in some kind of touch with certain people and things. well, i think get my point?