Good News

The yearly blood draw for Annabelle has always made me feel very anxious.  Not only because I hate to watch her cry while they take blood from her arm, but because I fear what the results will be.  I don't even know everything they test for her, but still get worried that something will come back not quite right.  I actually avoided this last blood draw for almost a year.  Not really on purpose,  it just happened that way.

A couple weeks ago, Annabelle spent the night in the hospital with a yucky respiratory infection.  It was so sad to see her feeling so sick.  She had to be on oxygen overnight and slowly weaned off.  It reminded me so much of almost four years ago watching them wean her off of oxygen and other things while in the NICU.  We knew what to watch for and what her 'numbers' should be.  After all of that was over and done with, we really knew we HAD to get those labs done and stop putting it off.  Last Monday, I took her in to finally get them done and two days later got a call from her pediatrician saying that everything looked great and normal.  YAY!

Annabelle is a generally healthy kid for the most part, and spunky and vibrant.  When she isn't feeling well, you know it.  She just isn't herself.  I am so so thankful for her health, and so so grateful for the good news about her blood work.  I am, however, SO OVER these yucky winter illnesses.  Like runny noses, coughs, sore throats, etc...  It seems to have lasted ALL winter in this house.  As soon as one of us feels better, another feels yucky.  It's been a cycle.  And Annabelle and Carter constantly have yucky noses.  :/  BLEH!

Some pics from the last month or so...

I am very much looking forward to warmer weather and spring time.  It helps with the yucky sicknesses, and also helps with our overall mood around here.  I plan to spend a lot of time with these two kiddos outside and at the park.  Maybe exploring new places we have never been.  Can't wait.

As far as pregnancy, I am feeling a lot better physically.   I seem to have a little bit more energy, am not feeling as nauseous, smells aren't bothering me as bad, etc... Mentally I am also feeling better about things.  Getting more and more excited to add one more to our little family.  This week I FINALLY have my first doctor appointment.  I am hoping to hear a sweet heartbeat and hoping that this appointment will put my mind at ease about some things.  :)  When I was pregnant with Carter, I did a little Q&A every now and then.  I might try to do that on the blog again as something to look back on...

How far along? 12 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 2-3 lbs.

 Maternity clothes? yes, already!  yikes!  Maternity jeans, and the belly band that allows me to keep my other jeans unbuttoned.  :0  
Stretch marks? No
Best moment this week: nothing to do with pregnancy, but the good news we got about Annabelle. 

Miss anything: yes...being able to fit in my clothes without being uncomfortable, and RUNNING.
Movement: No.  Totally looking forward to it.
Food cravings: Not really cravings I don't think.  I just want to eat everything that is so bad for me.  :/
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not too bad anymore. 
Have you started to show yet: Yes.  Getting harder to hide that bump.  I popped out really fast.

  Gender: No idea, and I have no feeling of what it may be either way.
Labor Signs: No.

  Belly Button in or out? in
Wedding rings on or off? On. Most likely won't come off.  Never did with other two pregnancies.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Both. 
Looking forward to: Spring time weather and to NOT work anymore.  :)

BABY Number Three!

A few things I wanted to avoid in my third pregnancy:
     -Being 'big' pregnant through another Texas summer.
     -Being in the same house
     -Being pregnant with my sister again. (ONLY to allow her to have her own pregnancy and enjoy HER time. I loved being pregnant with her last time, which was unplanned, but very awesome that it happened.)
     -Not being mentally or physically ready to take on another pregnancy or another baby.

God had other plans.  Much to our surprise, God has blessed us with our third pregnancy.  At our first January MOPS meeting this year, I was sitting with a group of girls discussing the year ahead.  I said these words, " My goal is to not have another baby this year.  Not in 2014."  A couple short weeks later, I peed on a stick and got a clear as day PLUS sign.  I had been waiting and waiting for my period to appear any day, and it just wasn't coming.  It was a Sunday afternoon after church, and Craig and I were eating Little Cesar's pizza at the kitchen table.  We jokingly started talking about how I was missing my period, but that there was no way I could be pregnant.  I started to actually really really stress out about it.  Almost to tears.  So, Craig said he would run and grab a test just to ease my mind about it.  As soon as he got back, I went in the bathroom to take the test.  After I saw the plus sign, I just sat down and had to breathe a minute.  I was sort of in shock.  I expected it to be negative, and to get on with my day.  I came in the living room, and started crying and showed Craig the stick.  He held me while I was the one to have a little panic attack.  He was totally calm and kept telling me it would be ok, all with a big smile on his face.  He was also shocked, but held it together so much better than I was.  I took a deep breath, went for a nice run/walk by myself, and came back feeling much better.

The next morning, I called my dad right away.  I needed to talk to him and have him come pray with me while I spilled my heart, and my raw feelings about the whole thing.  My dad is always encouraging and can always give me direction towards the Lord.  He was overjoyed when I told him the news, of course.  And he was even more excited that He was, for once, the first one in our family to know something.  :)  I told him how I felt so bad about my reaction to the news.  When I found out I was pregnant with Annabelle and Carter, I was SO EXCITED.   This time, because it was a surprise, I didn't have those same feelings.  I felt guilty about that.  I kept saying, "I'm not ready for this.  Our family is not ready for this."  BUT, God is ready for this and knows exactly what our family needs.  I have bonded with this little one already because of that.  I know that this child is what we need, and that we need him or her right at this time.  That makes me so thankful and has totally changed the way I feel about the whole thing.  It only took a couple of days for me to get over that shock, and then really cherish what was happening.

There were a few things I had planned for 2014.  Things that I really wanted to do and accomplish.  Some of them personal things.  The news of another pregnancy totally changed that, and some of those goals will be pushed back a while.  That's ok.  I'm having another child! So, all of that is ok.

After Annabelle was born, I KNEW we would have more kids.  I always thought three. (total)  ALWAYS.  As soon as Carter was born, I still felt that someone was missing.  It is strange that I felt this way, but I did for a long time after he was born.  I knew we weren't finished.  Our family wasn't totally complete yet.  It was a feeling I could never shake.  Even on the most stressful and overwhelming days with two kids, I knew that another one would some day be in this mix of chaos.  So, although this baby is a surprise RIGHT NOW, it's not a surprise that we are adding to our sweet little family.

I desire to really enjoy this pregnancy.  Really soak it all up and not hope to speed through it.  I don't necessarily LOVE being pregnant, so it makes me a very anxious person for 9 months.  But, I hope to really enjoy the little things that pregnancy can bring.  Ya know, like nicer boobs and strong nails!!  Ha ha, just kidding.  Kind of.  But, really.  If you pray for us, THAT is what I ask you to pray for.  For joy, peace and contentment through all of this.  Seems like it has actually been a bit stressful in different ways, and I don't want that.  I have been SO tired lately.  Tired sometimes to the point of tears.  I am looking forward to the second trimester, when things like that seem to diminish at least a little bit.

OH, and I am also kind of thankful that I will be pregnant through another summer.  The reason is because I can wear skirts and tank tops and be totally comfortable.  I HATE wearing pants when I am pregnant, so God knew what He was doing there.  Also, my sister and I being pregnant together is a blessing.  She, of course, was not upset to hear it was happening again.  Also, this house isn't so bad.  I hoped for a bigger house when our family grew some more, but this will work.  It has worked so far, and will continue to. We are cozy here, but cozy is nice.  And, since I totally don't feel mentally or physically ready for all of this, I am forced to totally rely on the Lord for strength and to actually accept the help from other people when they offer.

Will update as often as I can about how pregnancy is going.  It's all been such a whirlwind that I haven't even been to my first doctor's appointment.  Yipes.

"You're gonna miss this."

"I can't wait till the kids get older."

"I can't wait till Carter grows out of his super 'needy' stage."

"I can't wait till life's a little easier."

"I can't wait till Annabelle can..."

"I cant' wait until..."

All things I catch myself saying that are actually not true. 

Today, I had about a million bags and lunchboxes hanging off of my arms, as I was pushing a stroller through the cold rain, and wrangling another child while saying, "please just keep walking".  I saw a mom in the same parking lot who has two older children, like elementary age, and I said under my breath, "I can't wait till the kids are older".  In moments where I am chasing both kids around the car, and loading them into the car while they are cranky, hungry and tired, I say that, too.  When my arms are not only full of stuff, but also BOTH children, I say that.  But, it's not true.  I don't actually wish they were older.  And i CAN wait until they are older.  I love the stage that they are in, and really want to soak it all up.  I don't want to rush life, and then miss it.  

Carter has been a very 'needy' little boy.  And for some reason, the times he needs me the most seem to be the times that I am busy.  He tugs and my pant legs and pushes me away from the counter when I am in the kitchen.  He follows me around the house crying when I am trying to get housework done.  There have been times that I will hide around the corner in my own house just so he doesn't see me and realize he needs something.  That sounds funny, but it's true.  Some moments I feel like the demands of him, housework, Annabelle AND being a wife are just too much for one person to handle.  My own needs and desires are always pushed aside, and that can be a little draining.  In those moments, I say things that aren't true.  Things like, "I can't wait till Carter grows out of this stage."  As if, in that moment, it would be just so much easier.  But, I DON'T wish him to grow out of this stage too fast.  I know that someday I will look back and miss his extra hugs, his extra snuggles.  I will miss that he needed me so so much.  

Having young kids is a challenge in so many ways.   But, I love those little whipper snappers so much.  It's awesome watching little people grow up. As a mom who is with them, well, ALWAYS, it is a lot of pressure to make sure that they are growing up in a good way.  That they are being molded and shaped into little people that will impact the world around them.  The responsibility I feel every day to take care of them is more than I can bear sometimes.  But, I feel that this is where God wants me to be.  To understand that in my own strength,  I can not love and raise those children.  The Lord's strength is the ONLY thing that will get me through each day and each little moment every day.  The moments when I lie to myself and wish that something was different.  THOSE are the moments when I need to totally be drawing on the Holy Spirit to help me live the life He has given me.  I get to unwrap new gifts from the Lord every day, and how rude of me to complain about those gifts, wishing they were bigger or better.  I desire to live in a state of dependence and thankfulness to Him. 

LOVE this song so much...

OH, and I am pregnant with my third sweet baby!  More on that later.  But, after watching that video again, I am just an emotional ball of tears.  Will hold my sweet kiddos tight and giggle about these tears in a sec...

December.

WHAT?  December?  November left as quickly as it came.  I knew it would. November was a very busy month.  Busy and awesome.  But, where is 2013?  It has flown by.  Maybe faster than any other year I have lived.  It has been a sweet year.

Here are some November highlights...

Our little family took a road trip to see family and friends.  A very long road trip.  Craig and I have been wanting to take this trip for such a long time.  I am so super thankful that this trip finally happened.  It only makes me wish it could happen again.  

Here are the kiddos.  This was the first five minutes in the car.  They did great on our first stretch of the trip.  We drove through the night to allow the kiddos to sleep a bunch, and they did.  Of course it wasn't perfect.  There was a little crying, but nothing bad at all.  I was so proud of them.  

FIRST destination!  MADE IT to Grandma's!

We were blessed with a GORGEOUS day and the kids played outside most of the day.

A long awaited hug from Uncle Chad.  Such a sweet picture...

Snuggles with grandma...

Annabelle was enjoying vacation!  :)

Got to see an old friend from Bible School.  It was super awesome to see her and catch up.  

Love this pic.  Minnesota is full of a lot of people we care about. I was lucky to join this group of buds by marrying Craig.  ;)

Annabelle was not feeling well one morning, and layed around wherever she could.  Bop Bop decided to join her, and it was so cute. 

One thing I loved about this trip was being able to sleep close to my kiddos.  That may sound crazy to some parents, but it was one thing I was actually looking forward to about this trip.  When we stayed at Nana and Grandpa's, Annabelle and I actually got to share a bed.  I loved coming in at night and seeing her like this...

The kiddos enjoying the North woods...

And "sledding" with Nana in the dirt.  We missed the Minnesota snow by only a couple weeks.  

Sweet family time with Grandpa and cousins...

Coloring with Aunt Heidi and cousins...

Headed HOME. We drove during the day this stretch.  The third and last long part of this trip.  It was a very good idea this time around.  They did pretty good for the most part.  Of course, not perfect, but really did better than I expected.  

This 10 day trip had it's ups and downs.   There were a couple of days that Annabelle wasn't feeling well, things didn't go as planned or expected, but it was still an amazing time.  Traveling with two kids is a lot different than just one and a WHOLE lot different than none.  I wouldn't trade the memories of those days for anything.  We loved seeing family and friends and visiting familiar places.  I can't wait till we do it again.  

The day after we got back, I got SO sick and was pretty much down for like 5 days.  It was awful.  I prayed and prayed that neither of the kids or Craig would get what I had, and God so far has answered that prayer.  Thankful!  

Thanksgiving week was a good time to kind of relax and get back in to the swing of things around here.  We hosted my family this year at our house.  I love love love having Holidays at our house.  I love setting the table and making delicious food.  Craig also loves to entertain and have guests, so it's a good thing we both love it.  

a little place card for my little niece...

The day after Thanksgiving, we went to see some of my family to celebrate my grandma's 90th birthday (my dad's mom).  It was another sweet time this month of amazing time spent with people I love.  It was only for the day, so it left me wanting more.  Growing up, we always had Christmas with my dad's side of the family at my Aunt's house.  That house holds SO many memories from my childhood.  It is a place of peace and comfort, and always has been.  Being there again this year, with the house filled with at least 3-5 times more people, was just as special.  It was so neat that everyone came out to celebrate "NANNY".  

And now, it's December.  And I am sure it will fly just as quickly.  Looking forward to the rest of 2013, and to whatever 2014 holds.... 

These pictures were just taken this week.  Sunshine and fall leaves!  It's been so nice outside, and according the weather news, this weekend is supposed to get crazy cold.  Crazy cold for Texas anyways.  So far December has been pretty nice and warm, so We will see.  

Speech

Happy November!  This is the month many stop more often to remember what we are THANKFUL for.  There are SO many things that I am thankful for, that there would be no way I could ever thank God enough.  My words fall short.  But, today, I am specifially greatful for my sweet little Annabelle.  Specifically, the way she communicates.  I really do love the way she communicates with us, but some days I have to remind myself to be thankful for this specific part of her.  Because it is also very hard for me.

Annabelle is an amazing and spunky 3 1/2 year old little girl.  She has much to express.  Through actions, sign language and words.  Unfortunatly, we don't understand most of those words.  Which make her actions to express those words, actions of frustration and anger.  She also uses actions to show us that she is thankful, and loves us, and is excited, happy, and content.  I've been having a harder time lately with this.  Sometimes tears well up in my eyes when she is trying so hard to tell me a story, or tell me something she wants or needs.  I try to hard to understand her.  It makes me sad that she doesn't sing her favorite songs along with us.  And it makes me sad that she can't tell me a story about her day at school.  BUT, she DOES sign language to her favorite songs.  And she does sign language to tell us things she wants.  And I am hearing more clear words come out of her mouth.  So, I am also thankful.  

Even though I am so thankful for who Annabelle is and for the way she does things, it doesn't change the fact that it is still hard.  

BUDDY WALK was awesome this year.  Annabelle wore herself out.  We had had about 20 people on her team this year, and I am always so thankful for our friends and family who come out to support Annabelle and DSACT.  

Oh, check out these cute kiddos in the pumpkin patch.... Happy FALL!!!!

Anyone else think this boy needs to get discovered?!?!? GOSH he's handsome!  

All the cousins...

Picture day!

This week we had picture day at school. Look how cute they are. It's hard to get good pics when you want them. so this is what I got before school. :)

He hangs out with me before school starts. And I love it. 

Annabelle putting her " makeup" on...